The Truth About Three Men on a Plane

What do a corporate law attorney, a used car salesman, and the leader of a Shiite Muslim church, have in common? One plane ride.

I am grateful to have traveled the United States as a child and as an adult have continued this tradition. Whether it is for business or pleasure – I always find travel exhilarating and the people I meet – enlightening. This is the story of three men I met while traveling at three different times.

A beautiful flight over the Pacific

The first, an enormous man in stature was squeezed up against the window when I took my seat in the middle of a crowded 747. I immediately began drawing conclusions about what this man did for a living and where he might be headed on this pre-dawn flight. Just as we reached altitude, breakfast in a box was served. Although I enjoy traveling, my stomach has never settled into flying – so it’s rare that I eat on a plane. I carefully opened my box to see if there was anything inside that I could tolerate. Considering the turbulence, I decided against the gamble. That’s when the man spoke “You gonna’ eat that?” he said in a gruff but soft voice? I glanced over without meeting his eyes and slid the meal across to his tray – “nope, it’s all yours!”

Over the next hour, I learned that this gentle giant was a successful corporate attorney who in his off time enjoyed running up and down mountains. In fact, he really got off on seeing how many he could run up in a single day! He had two children, a golden retriever and was very happily married. As he talked, his low, melodic voice melted away every pre-conception I had formulated. He went from being an oversized jock to a family man with endurance beyond measure.

I met man number two in first class. It was a mid-afternoon flight and I was aisle-side. I packed my stuff up and prepared for take-off noticing that the man was simply dressed and alertly looking around the cabin. When beverage service was started, the man ordered a Guinness. Funny, I would have pegged him as a Coors Light kind of guy – again, my inquisitive nature got the best of me and I found myself striking up a conversation with the man about his beverage of choice.

We talked in short bursts of conversation – exchanging basic information with each other and commenting on our final destinations. As expected, our discussion turned to our professions and when he found out about my marketing background, the man candidly shared his story of success – in developing a niche’ market that at the time, and place, was virtually untapped.

You see this southern gentleman had a daughter who was a lesbian. When she came out, he was shocked but explained: “that she is still my daughter and I am very proud of her.” Over the course of meeting his daughter’s friends, he came to realize that there weren’t a lot of places (car dealers included) where homosexual people were comfortable shopping. That’s when the man had an epiphany: he would try to develop an atmosphere of equality in his dealerships that would engage a market that had thus far been discouraged and demonized.

Turns out, it was a winning strategy and the man was formulating a plan to cater to the “female market.” Providing a similar low-stress buying environment. Our brief meeting reminded me that there is something much bigger than us at work – and when we apply our compassionate nature, good things happen quickly.

The third man scared me from the moment I laid eyes on him. I was one of the last to board a sunset flight out of Chicago bound for Traverse City when a man in full Arab attire, rushed in behind me. I did my best to make room for him, haphazardly situating my bag beneath a too-tight spot and sitting down immediately. When the man paused in front of the vacant seat next to me, my heart skipped a beat and I turned towards the window and away from my prejudicial fears.

In a thick middle-eastern accent, the man kindly asked if he could “have a seat”? Growing up in a rural, white-bred community, my mom made sure that we understood equality, but post-911, I simply couldn’t seem to control my fight-or-flight reaction to the man.

The plane taxied and the man proceeded to engage me in conversation. Can’t he SEE how uncomfortable I am just being near him – my mind screamed? Instead when he asked, “do you live in Traverse City?” my response cut through the thinning air like a knife “yes, do YOU?” That’s when our conversation took a U-turn – shifting to his thoughts about the war and President Bush.

It turns out, this man was a high-ranking Shiite Muslim who had been called on in the past to advise the President about Saddam Hussein and Iraq. He passionately explained how Hussein had murdered 18 members of his family, including his great, great grandfather, whose body had recently been recovered in a mass grave.

That’s when I realized the gift that this man had given to me. I became an information-seeking sponge. I had purposefully kept my distance from being “informed” about the war – to the point that I avoided almost all media and news stories related to what was happening a world away. Here was a credible source – one with first-hand experience. I was intent on learning everything I possibly could in a mere 45 minutes.

And teach he did. When we finally parted ways, this gentle man handed me a slip of paper with his contact information neatly inscribed, and invited me to attend one of his lectures at the Mosque where he guides thousands of faithful followers. I have yet to take him up on the offer – but I am fully aware that it will probably result in the same type of ego-altering experience that we had already shared – on a sunset flight back home.