Sitting in the Trees

Canopy Above the Platform

The sturdy platform in the trees awaits. A beautiful spot nestled amongst the pines, oaks and maples. Today, the sunshine dapples the platform when the breeze kicks up.

It’s a sweet spot to reflect. Eyes closed. Hearts beating. “Breathe In. Breathe Out.” Amazing what one can hear and feel when the mind is quieted.

A whiff of incense every now and then. A chipmunk skitters past. The hail of acorns. It’s a place of peace and aliveness.

The first time I went alone, and the platform was waiting for me. The pad and pillow lovingly placed; a tiny yellow-orange maple leaf a surprise-added decoration.

As as soon as my body settled onto the pillow, I felt like I was swaying. “Is the platform moving?” I continued to sit and realized that the beating of my own heart was so strong it was wracking my body, causing it to sway back and forth.

This got me thinking about my heart. It’s been aching for quite some time and feeling the strength of it beating...almost knocking me off kilter was scary and humbling. “Why do I take it for granted?” In the trees, the tightness in my chest was gone. The aching soothed.

Quite recently my heart and I have been reintroduced to one another. Less than a month ago, following a walk with a friend, I started having immense pain shoulder-to-shoulder followed by waves of nausea as I drove home. I drove straight to an Urgent Care clinic; and the symptoms persisted. I was scared. Embarrased. And certain I was having a heart attack.

I never once considered that stress might be the culprit. My best friend’s Mom had passed away that morning. I sensed it and called the family moments after her body shut down. This followed by an envelope that was received in the mail without any letter inside and the words “help me” on the flap. My adrenaline was taking over most of the time these days...as with the envelope - I shifted into action quickly investigating and confirming that the sender wasn’t in harm’s way. She wasn’t. I was.

And lately the tight-heart is sometimes combined with trembling. The whole-body kind.

So when I feel myself swaying side to side, I do a quick survey and find that I’m not trembling. My heart is simply beating with such gusto that I am physically moving. Like the trees that are unashamedly waving their magnificent tapestry of leaves of all shapes and sizes. My body quakes.

“Okay, breathe again.”

Settling in I begin to feel the channels and my spirit open. “Breathe in. Breathe out. I am right here with you.”

It’s the mantra I repeat when the mind takes over. The mantra keeps me grounded and safe in the lap of Mother Nature; a space where it would be easy to grow wild and untethered.

The smell of pine needles and earth is intoxicating.

The platform has an energy about it. And sometimes it feels like a living, breathing thing. One penny sits here. A leaf flutters there. Like a hidden zen-oasis. The perfect spot to come back home to myself. A place to rest. And “regroup your energy” my friend encourages.

The mind clears. Slowly. My heart calms. No more gusto-beating, it is now a low flutter; indiscernible. Soft as a leaf making it’s way back home to rest on the earth for another season.

“Breathe in. Breathe out. I am right here with you.”